Moving house: back in August.

27/6/08 - Stuffity Stuff Stuff

I pulled this article from 'the Australian' a while ago, and something about it just rang true for me, namely that I value the safety of beer over infants and anyone who doesn't is un-Australian. If there was a parent's Olympics this guy would get 1st, 2nd and 3rd; yes he was effectively saying that in the event of a catastrophic crash he would probably rather have the beer left afterwards, but in all fairness a father this good was probably going to give his infant son one of the coldies once he got them home.

On another topic: in my continuing effort to see movies over a year after they are released I watched 'Run, Fat Boy, Run' recently. Now I'm willing to watch any film with Simon Pegg in it twice, but this one was so paint by numbers that they may as well have displayed the movie's storyboard in the opening credits. Guess what, the guy gets the girl. Duh Duh Duuuuuh.

Ghost Rider. I don't even know where to start. This movie was so bad that the Vatican called after it finished and asked if we wanted an exorcism. How Nicolas Cage gets put into movies is so far beyond me. You could see the beads of sweat streaming from his face as he struggled to change facial expressions. I'm serious, Nicolas Cage's face looks as though it is suspended in a vacuum, the hatch sealed just as someone asked him 'quickly, what's the square root of 3,854?' But it wasn't just him, the acting by all parties was atrocious, strapping masks and tape players to some domesticated pigs would've resulted in a more convincing performance. To the makers of Ghost Rider: You wasted 90 minutes of my life and I want it back. Alternatively I will take a trade off, i.e. you have to sit down and spend 90 minutes watching paint dry, and that painting has to be of a poorly developed and unlikable portrayal of a fictional character that was once cool until you raped his image with a roll of hundred dollar bills. I'll let your people sort that one out.

22/6/08 - Dick Move

There's a video over on GodTube that plays out a scenario where a guy gets caught watching porn by Jesus, deciding not to go on with Jesus watching the man breaks down and repents. Based on how genuinely startled the man was and the depth of his pleading it seemed as though he didn't know that he was actually talking to an actor and not the real Jesus.

Parts of this video that I liked:
- When he mentions that his wife has let herself go
- That he enjoys tugging it sitting in the centre of large black windowless rooms
- When he first notices someone watching him and exclaims "Jesus!" only to pan out to reveal that it is actually Jesus (crown of thorns and all) who is standing there.

After this scene I can imagine the guy after repenting for watching porn stands up and says to Jesus; "You know, I probably should be more amazed that I'm actually talking with Jesus, but something has struck me. Why did you choose to show up now? I mean I basically spent most of my waking teenage years choking the chicken, why now on some lazy Tuesday afternoon in my forties did you choose to show up and tell me that this was a sin? Also…you know, my brother died from prostate cancer last year, couldn't you have shown up then and maybe healed him or even offer a little consolation. If it was anyone less fallible then you then this would probably be considered a bit of a dick move."

1/6/08 - Back with another one of those block rockin' beats

I went to Thailand once and it was great, in that a transvestite tried to give me a backrub in the bathroom and I got to tell everyone that story. While there I also managed to hit up a nightclub and I don't know why people think that white guys have the monopoly on bad dancing, as anyone who has been to a Thai nightclub should be able to tell you Asian guys can throw down with the worst of them.

Incidentally these guys were voted 'Most Masculine' in the current Asian pop music scene. Call it ignorant but I can't understand how a guy would appeal to girls by out-dressing them. Another extension to this hypothesis:

We truly have a lot to learn from Asian comedy.